Darn it. Everything wasn't as it seems. I thought that I was relatively unharmed from the bus accident last Saturday. WRONG. The Friday following the accident I was feeling pretty good and I didn't ache or hurt from the accident any more so I thought I was good. I bend down to pick something off the floor and I feel and hear a number of pops and cracks in my back, hips, and legs. Next instant I'm in more pain than I thought possible. Because of this new pain, my mom wanted to get my back x-rayed. So we went and got it x-rayed, but I told the technician that I had a lot of pain in my hips and legs so she x-rayed down there and she discovered that I had broke my pelvis. 0_0 I've been running around/marching on a broken pelvis all week. The doctors told me that I can't put any weight on it if I want it to heal... I need to use crutches, but preferably not move around much. They also told me that I couldn't march the rest of my marching band season. That was just what broke my heart. On Tuesday Night we had a competition that was dedicated to the teacher who had died, and I refused to be one of the walking wounded on the side lines. I marched and played my heart out on Tuesday because I refused to give in to the pain or anything. I had to do the show for Heather. (I was marching on a broken pelvis. I'm a smart one even if I didn't know.) I thought that I was home free if I could march on Tuesday.
Music is in my soul. Sure I can still play on the side lines for the rest of the season but that's not the same. I wanted to be out on the field in the flood lights, feel the music pulsing through me, and to be along side my brothers and sisters of the band. I wanted to be on the field and hear the crowd scream, to hear the announcer to tell us that we can take the field in competition. I wanted to march the Bands of America Western Regionals and try my hardest to bring back the title of Best in the West with my band. I just want to cry. I feel like I'm letting myself and my band down. This show means so much to me, and everyone in the band. I'm hoping if I am good, the doctors will let me march BOA, my last competition of the year, but it doesn't seem likely. I'm just going to have to play from the side lines.
I just want to be with my band. Why can't I? (I'm sorry, it might be hard to relate to this if you've never been in marching band.)